Language is both wonderful and terrible. It has helped the puny human get to the top of the food chain and, at the same time, it has created an internal "word machine" that creates endless psychological suffering for each of us.
Many language traps exist. The confusion between
evaluation and
description is often the basis for many emotional "hijackings" that entice us to engage in destructive and futile battles with ourselves.
Descriptive talk is similar to evaluative talk in how it is spoken. "The cup is ceramic" and "The cup is beautiful" sound similar in structure. But if all humans were suddenly to die tomorrow, and the cup were still on the table, it would still a ceramic cup
... but would it still be a beautiful cup? If no one is here to evaluate its beauty, the
evaluation loses its meaning.
A description, however, remains the same no matter who is here to judge it. Only one description is accurate; the cup may be ceramic,
or metallic,
or plastic, but it cannot be more that one of these substances.
We get confused and believe that since
evaluations and descriptions have the same language structure they are similar in their veracity/truth about us or the environment. One
evaluation must be "right" or "win" over the "wrong" one that must "lose." This is how we create endless battles within ourselves.
We become ensnared in a trap when we confuse the
evaluation of oneself with the
description of oneself. A person, like the cup may be evaluated as good or bad depending on the perspective taken. Two opposing
evaluations may exist and neither has to be wrong.
When we
evaluate ourselves we want to end up with finite and absolute statements because that is what we do when we describe something. We say it is a blue cup. We cannot also say it is a red cup and be accurate. One or the other description is accurate--the other is not.Thus, we become confused and think that an
evaluation must be similar in that one and ONLY one statement can be accurate and true. For example. "I am a good person." Or, "I am a bad person." That is the LANGUAGE TRAP. We are using language to
evaluate when we believe we are using it to describe.
Listen to your
evaluations of yourself and understand that since they
are evaluations, more that one can be present... and more than one can reflect the state of reality. But more important is the awareness that
evaluations are created stories about You and are NOT intrinsic descriptions of You. The
evaluation is NOT You.
