Recently I watched a Ted.com lecture by Researcher and Social Worker
Brene Brown and she said something I connected with instantly. In talking about VULNERABILITY she said that one had to be have the courage to be imperfect.
That is what vulnerability really is: The courage to say this is who I am, to tell the whole story of who I am with all the warts and the blemishes and flaws.
When and infant is born, parents often say, "He or she is perfect." The truth is otherwise, but we spend the rest of our lives trying to prove that we are perfect while hiding all the unacceptable parts of ourselves.
We may give lip service to the idea that no one can be perfect, but on the day to day level, we do expect that we will not make mistakes, will not forget the important lessons we learned in the past, will not have destructive emotions that take over, will be aware of how we interact with others and will have the ability to be tuned in to the needs of others as well as of ourselves. That expectation IS the demand for perfection. We usually expect that of others, too. We are upset if a person did not say something in the "right way", or was insensitive, or rude, or impatient. Our reaction suggest that if we ( and others) put our selves seriously to the task, we could get it right every time.
Vulnerability is the willingness to admit the truth about ourselves to others. Can we tell the whole story about ourselves, even when there are no guarantees as to what the response will be? To be vulnerable, one has to give up the "idea" of who one is to be fully who one is.
That is why being vulnerable is so darn terrifying, why it feels like one is on the edge of the precipice. Can I really be loved and accepted for all that I am? Am I enough? If we do not take the risk of being vulnerable we may never know.
